Welcome to Moms with Brains!
MWB is an eclectic group of women with different
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Did anyone else have the great, running with whoops of excitement down a totally lit up block, breathing hard through the nostril holes in your plastic Cinderella mask, lugging around an overflowing pilowcase, laughing at your cousin who tripped in the wet grass so he looked like he peed himself, Halloween marathons I had as a kid?
A detail neatly absent from a Stay At Home Mom’s Job Description: Exterminator. Orkin-Mom. Protect your beautiful baby from the creepy-crawlies that upset your lovely home in their wayward travels from the basement.
When it comes to creepy-crawlies and creatures, I discriminate. I don’t hate them all, per se, the cute ones I can live with….ladybugs, bumblebees, caterpillars. However, when it comes to the ugly utilitarian millipedes with 70,000 legs and the body the size of my pinky finger, then, yes, I hate.
I hate with the heat of 1,000 jilted lovers.
I hate with the passion of 10,000 teenagers in parked cars.
So when I see the creature hanging out at the intersection of wall and ceiling, living room, USA, I sigh. This is not how I want to start my morning.
I sigh because I know this will be an hour’s worth of planning. I will spend an hour strategizing this small battle, preparing the demise of this invader. Most of the hour is spent simply staring at it, wishing it away, ensuring it doesn’t move, gathering my strength for the task at hand. The Department of Public Works drives by, sucking up leaves, I consider for a moment waving them down to save me; I reject that plan because I am a Strong. Independent. Woman. No man needed for this job.
I collect my tools.
baseball cap. check.
long sleeve shirt. check.
gloves. check.
jeans. check.
socks & shoes. check.
broom & dustpan. check.
DirtDevil Handvac. check.
hairspray with aggressive & pointed spray pattern. check.
Gumption? Moxie? Backbone? Decidedly, disappointingly absent.
My plan of attack is simple. Disorient him with hairspray. Bat with broom. Collect in dustpan and throw outside. Contingency plan? Spray, bat, suck. I plug the vac into an outlet close to the door, so I can run with it still on and toss it outside.
I pull my socks up over my jeans – to prevent it from running up my pant leg, natch – and pull my gloves on to keep the openings of my sleeves closed, arrange the cap down over tucked up hair and step to 3 feet from the wall.
With knocking knees, I collect what strength I have and talk myself through it.
one…..two….three…..PSHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!
F–k! S–t! Dammit! He’s on the run! PSHHHHHHHH some more. He drops to the floor and squirms. **shudder** He’s too fast, too fast. VROOOOOMMMMM. I have to suck, there’s a thud in the handvac. In a tizzy, I run to the door and throw the vac to the stoop. I unplug it, run it to the garage where it sits.
I realize I’m shaking like I had too much coffee. I’m shaking like I just got through a real emergency. This scene takes place in less than 30 seconds, yet I’m acting as though it’s a life-changing event.
For the rest of the day, I wear shoes. I glance suspiciously at the site where the demise went down. Is there evidence? Did I imagine my success? Is it back? Before I settle back into my loveseat, I inspect the area, to assure myself the rest of the bug family hasn’t set up camp on the armrest, behind the couch, in the blanket draped over the back.
I re-tell my tale to my husband when he comes home.
I don’t think he bought the level of bravado I tell it with. He’s seen me encounter spiders and knows I’m remarkably “girly” when it comes to the ugly pests.
This small victory is in my arsenal of successes when I’m questioning my mothering abilities. I protected and saved my son from the millipede.
I’m like the police. Only cuter.
My name is Jen. I am 34 years old and became a Mother for the first time on March 10, 2009. This came as a great shock since I have been informed time and time again that babies are not in my future. Because of this I allowed myself to be completely clueless when it comes to babies. I wanted nothing to do with anyone else kids and swore thruout my entire pregnancy that this will be my only one. After giving birth it took about 2 seconds to realize what true love really meant and my heart melted to the thought of being a Mom. I even played with the idea of having another one right away. I cant tell you how many times, while pregnant, I had the conversation with someone about how many kids would have. My answer was always the same. They all said the same thing.. “just wait, you’ll change your mind!” Now I understand… babies.are.awesome!
Kegels.
I hated them. I remember complaining about them this time last year. I thought they were overrated. “Who cares, they are so secondary and once this baby pops out, they won’t matter”.
After pushing for almost 3 hours, and a vacuum assist birth, I remember resting in my hospital bed thinking…”I wish I would have done my Kegels.” While, I think the kid just didn’t fit, I cant help but wonder if they could have helped my postpartum issues a bit. Come to find out, the PC muscles are often weakened by pregnancy and birth, and need to be worked out or they atrophy just like the rest of the muscles in our bodies. Yes, we want toned PC muscles just like our Gluteus Maximus. If we don’t tone them, we can find common issues like bladder control (hate sneezing?) and in serious issues, prolapse.
7 months later, everyday since March 14th-I am doing my Kegels. Moms-to-be, one word of advice: Kegels. For the love of God, Kegels. If you can count to three and hold your pee, you can do Kegels. For more information about Kegels: how to do them properly and the benefits, check out http://www.kegel-exercises.com/ and The Mayo Clinic’s article here: http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/kegel-exercises/WO00119
As i was driving home the other day, something popped in my head. I need to relearn how to walk properly. But is there a ‘proper’ way to walk? Ever since i broke my ankle and had to under go surgery to fix it, all i’ve been able to think about is walking again. Bein mobile. You never really understand how much that means to you until it’s taken away. You take it for granted. It’s second nature. So, i got home, ‘hobbled’ into the house and got on the trusting interwebz to figure out “How to walk properly” but what i found instead was a life lesson.
No two people walk quite the same way. Your style of walking is as individual as your fingerprints.
This makes perfect sense. No one has the same life.. while some have similar lives, something somewhere is different. YOUR life is a unique as your fingerprints.
Stretch before and after walking. The heel-to-toe action of walking tends to tighten your calf muscles, so stretching the lower legs is important.
You should think ahead and think it through. Life can wear you down and wind you up. By thinking, your body will thank you later.
Start slowly at a comfortable pace.
There’s no rush, keep it simple, keep yourself happy.
Maintain good posture. Keep ears centered over shoulders, which should be centered over hips. Don’t slump. Keep your chest up and out and shoulders relaxed. With this posture there will be less chance of foot, leg, or back pain.
Confidence. Keep those you love centered in your life. Don’t sweat the bad stuff. Take it in stride and it will make you better.
Heel first, rock, then swing the foot forward. Sounds simple, but as you walk faster it’s harder to maintain the rocking motion. Keep your foot swing natural.
Find a good peace within yourself, hold on to it, and savor it. Sounds simple, but as life flashes by, it’s easy to forget it. Keep your head up and never sway.
Pace yourself. Use the target heart rate to set your pace. Walking at a moderate rate will increase your stamina.
Enjoy the small things, stop and smell the roses. Set small goals and reach them. Just be yourself, stay true, it will make you stonger.
Don’t forget to swing your arms.
Don’t forget to let loose, go a little crazy. You don’t have to do it all the time but it feels damn good when you do!
So, i may walk a little funny now.. and thats ok, because i have what matters most, those i love and those that love me. Thats what makes the world go round and that’s what helps me walk.
My 4 year old is sick again. She lays her little blond head on my lap, and looks listlessly up at me with big watery eyes and flushed cheeks. My heart constricts as I notice her lips are chapped from the shallow mouth breathing she’s been doing and I see the pulse jumping in her neck. Just two days ago, she was violently sick and I thought she was getting better yesterday. But now, her temperature is between 101 and 103, even with Tylenol. I thought she already had H1N1. She’s been sick so much this fall.
I almost superstitiously avoid thinking about anything happening to any one of my kids. That’s because if I started to think about those “what if’s” it could become a bad habit that would drive me insane. I love them so much. I have had the luxury of healthy children, and a teenager who was not a risk taker. So, I’ve been able to protect this bubble of denial that anything truly bad can happen to my kids for all these years. But today I find myself holding my little girl and thinking “Could I lose her?” and regretting every time I’ve lost patience with her recently–and every missed opportunity for a hug or silly conversation about bugs.
The Mama Bear in me wants to call the clinic and raise holy hell until they agree to give her Tamiflu and apologize for the delay in getting vaccinations of both flus out (because of course they had a hand in that problem). Poor medical professionals who must deal with parents feeling powerless.
Edited to Add: MamaBear didn’t have to raise holy hell. The doctor sent my little girl to the hospital. She was very dehydratrated. One night of IV hydration and medications and she was sent home. We’ve been trying to keep her fever down as much as possible with Tylenol and Motrin. It’s Day 6 of this sickness, and her fever will spike again tonight (though probably not the 104 it was at the clinic). The Tamiflu doesn’t seem to be helping, probably because it was begun too late. My advice: don’t wait until high fever has been around two days to take them in, as all the websites recommend.
So, first let me say that I have nothing against smokers. Hell, I used to be one. What I do have a problem with is inconsiderate smokers.
Why, oh why, do you think it’s appropriate to light up at a school bus stop? As my oldest walks by and breathes it in, followed by my middle, then as I push my 7 month old through the smell I am left wondering why we should have to breath it because you couldn’t wait 5 minutes. Just because you’re outside doesn’t make it better. In fact, it permeates the air around you and floats a good distance. Yeah, I know. There is no sign that says you can’t smoke and it’s your right to smoke in that area but common sense tells me that my kids and I have the right to not breath in your toxic smoke at a school bus stop. Ya know, where my kid and several other kids have to board the bus everyday. I don’t have a choice to not have my kid use that bus stop but you sir certainly have the choice to wait until everyone is gone before you get your fix.
All I am asking for is a little consideration.
I just got back from a great little trip to Disneyland with Jonny and our two friends. It was an excellent time with a couple setbacks but overall a win in regards to vacationing.
I pulled the bad mommy card and decided to leave Baby J at home so:
For the first time ever, I went on a vacation with no plan of what we were to do, budget of what I was to spend, and heck, we didn’t even know who was going until we got in the car and left! It was a little stressful for me to go with the flow like that. I’m little Miss Planner and little Miss Frugal all in one. You can’t find the deals if you don’t know what you’re doing till you’re doing it! I think I managed well but I have a feeling when I was overwhelmed by the whole idea of blowing so much money and not “getting your monies worth” the group could tell (sorry guys).
What was amazing about the whole no plan thing, is that most of the trip was unorganized chaos, something I’ve never experienced on vacation before! The first and third day were running around, doing things on the fly and the second was one amazing shit show of drunks. We drunkenly explored Tarzan’s Tree House, the Safari River and Downtown Disney, as well as sneakily drank in public, rode Grizzly Falls 100 times, and ate at the Blue Bayou. I don’t think we ruined any children’s Disney vacations but we definitely ruined a buss driver’s night.
So overall, Disneyland for the WIN! My engagement ring, however, is now put on hold.
While I was gone, Baby J learned to crawl backwards, started a growth spurt, and can now go from sitting to crawling. I never noticed how many babies there are at Disneyland till this trip.. And every time I saw one, I found myself scrambling for my camera to look at old pictures of Baby J. He looks older now that I’m back and that makes me sad. I feel like there’s a space between us now too. Like when a baby animal falls in mud and it’s parents will shun it because they don’t recognize its scent. Luckily, I’m more than aware this babe is mine.. Even though he seems different now.
It was a good trip and I’m happy to be home. Next time I’d like to save for the trip a little better so I don’t feel like I’m spending my backup savings (and engagement ring funds 
). But really it was a nice, well deserved break from life.
#10. Your formally macho-man husband now dances around the house singing childrens’ songs and quoting ‘Finding Nemo’.
#9. You haven’t showered in 3 days, your hair is disheveled, your make-up is non-existent, and quite frankly…you don’t give a rat’s ASS!
#8. 75% of your adult conversations now involve baby poop.
#7. One of your co-workers asks “What’s that smell?” and you realize it’s the lovely smell of baby vomit wafting from your shirt.
#6. Much to your horror, you start referring to yourself in the 3rd person. “Mommy just loves her little man”! (puke)
#5. You shamelessly enter your little one in cutest baby contests (something you swore you’d never do), because you are convinced there has never been a cuter baby in the history of the world.
#4. You can hum along and know the order of songs for every one of your baby’s musical toys.
#3. You CAN NOT walk into a store without perusing the baby aisles. Because every baby needs 42 pairs of infant socks!
#2. Sex is either non-existent, or a 45 second quickie romp before the baby wakes up screaming. (And it’s pretty much a guarantee that the baby will wake up the moment you take off your pants)
#1. No matter how bad your day, how tired you are, or how short tempered you’ve become, one gummy toothless grin from your adorable offspring can warm your heart and bring a smile to your face.
5 lbs potatoes peeled and cut into cubes cover them with chicken broth.. it’s like 1 1/2 quarts
season with garlic salt and pepper and cook till potatoes are tender.
Mash them up (i left mine kinda lumpy cuz that how i like it!)
throw in some cut up celery, green onions, bell peppers and onions
i fried some bacon really crispy and crumbled it in there
Let it cook till all veggies are tender and the soup is the consistancy you like
add in 2 8 oz packages of cream cheese, cook on high for about 30 mins until the cheese is melted and mixed well
and viola! Yummy! FYI: this makes A LOT!