#10.  Your formally macho-man husband now dances around the house singing childrens’ songs and quoting ‘Finding Nemo’.

#9.  You haven’t showered in 3 days, your hair is disheveled, your make-up is non-existent, and quite frankly…you don’t give a rat’s ASS!

#8.  75% of your adult conversations now involve baby poop.

#7.  One of your co-workers asks “What’s that smell?” and you realize it’s the lovely smell of baby vomit wafting from your shirt.

#6.  Much to your horror, you start referring to yourself  in the 3rd person.  “Mommy just loves her little man”! (puke)

#5.  You shamelessly enter your little one in cutest baby contests (something you swore you’d never do), because you are convinced there has never been a cuter baby in the history of the world.

#4.  You can hum along and know the order of songs for every one of your baby’s musical toys.

#3.  You CAN NOT walk into a store without perusing the baby aisles.  Because every baby needs 42 pairs of infant socks!

#2.  Sex is either non-existent, or a 45 second quickie romp before the baby wakes up screaming.  (And it’s pretty much a guarantee that the baby will wake up the moment you take off your pants)

#1.  No matter how bad your day, how tired you are, or how short tempered you’ve become, one gummy toothless grin from your adorable offspring can warm your heart and bring a smile to your face.

This entry was posted on Wednesday, October 21st, 2009 at 3:18 am and is filed under Motherhood. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.